But If I Did

August 24, 2017

How is it possible for my best friend to want to build a relationship with my partner? Every detail there was to know about our relationship you knew. Did your feelings grow before or after we all became close? I wouldn't have guessed in a million years that my best friend was banging my girlfriend on the side. They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  I've never lost a friend over a lover but if I did...that would be my thought process.

It's not the cheating that gets to me. It's the disloyalty..going behind my back when I trusted you. I've been plotting ways to get under your skin and realize I'm going to have the last laugh. Revealing your darkest secrets onto social media for the world to see. I would corrupt the perfect image you've tried your best to maintain. I've never felt the need to get revenge on someone I've been in a relationship with but if I did... that would be my thought process.

Boyfriends in middle school were not in my plans, it just happened. Reminiscing now makes me laugh. Isn't it funny how we thought our boy toys/girls would remain our one and only? We had no idea what love was or even the gist of it. (I'm still learning) It's safe to say I snatched her husband. At the end of every day we waited to board the school buses outside in a single file line. A slap to the face and I reacted with a push and shove. I held a grudge in my heart for a long time.. thinking the next time I'd see you I'd have my very first fist fight. So I could prove to everyone that I wouldn't allow anyone to walk all over me again. Until I told myself I'd never be something I'm not, I've never been a fighter even today. Over the years I've learned the importance of self defense and if I was put in the same predicament today the outcome would be different.

Think of a time someone got under your skin. Whether it was an argument, arrogance, jealousy or  judgmental people. Sometimes we feel like the only option we're faced with is revenge. The only way we'll be satisfied with the present situation is to make them pay. Thankfully I haven't experienced much betrayal in my twenty one years of life but if I did...revenge wouldn't be my thought process. It can happen in friendships, relationships, at the work place, with family.. you don't catch a break! In the heat of the moment I can agree it's difficult to consider what's the mature option versus reacting off your emotions then and there. The way you handle setbacks determines your integrity and character. If it won't matter in 1 second, month or year.. let your piece of mind remain solid. NIP







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