I have had my fair share of cheating. Something I’m not here to honor but one of the things I cannot take back. I see it as one of the lessons in life that taught me so much about myself. Looking back on the experiences, situations I put myself in my mind rambles on and on. Narrowing down reasons why I decided to welcome drama with open arms. Temptation, infatuation, the excitement, vulnerability. The craving of having “something new”. Cheating taught me the reasons why I should want to pursue a relationship with someone. Not for their looks, to claim them, sleep with them.. there’s a bigger picture! To want to grow with someone spiritually and mentally, celebrate their wins, understand their viewpoints/agree to disagree, honor their values while also being a lover and friend.
Let’s begin with the different forms of “cheating” (Its in quotations because I’m aware everyone doesn’t agree on what is actually cheating). Except kissing and sex. (Hopefully) Entertaining someone you know has an interest in you and don’t shut down their flirtatiousness. The thought of someone else taking the place of your current loved one.. is that cheating? Talking on the phone for hours about anything.. is that cheating? How do you feel about playful comments under a picture? You don’t have to speak it through your lips. Once you speak it into existence in your conscious.. that’s more than enough and a big pill to swallow. Once/If you ever have the opportunity you will take it without hesitation and run for the hills!
I asked my cousin why she thinks people cheat and her response was “I’ve had too many bad experiences to cheat.” Is there such thing as getting your feelings being taken advantage of so much you never cheat? We stay single to avoid living a double life? “I have to keep up with my lies there’s no pleasure.” I believe karma comes back when the time is right (when we think the situation is behind us).
Who walks away with a bigger scar.. the cheater or who got cheated on? You both do. You can feel like you dodged a bullet after you accept your partners true colors but that doesn’t shut down the feeling of betrayal. The cheater won’t escape the consequences that came in result of their decisions. There are people in this world that forgive without taking time to reflect on their emotions let alone the situation. We make harsh or foolish decisions in the moment, which is why we must be patient with ourselves. In times we’re hurting, fighting.. time will tell our fate.
It’s hard to believe in love when there’s no sight of it before your eyes. But love has never been taken or hidden from us. It has always been up to us whether to give it. We show it effortlessly with family and friends without saying I love you. We build bonds to destroy them within seconds. Is it worth it?