I do stupid things, you do too

December 11, 2017

Our mind can takes us places we're afraid to admit. Middle school leaned towards an image insecurity for example "I have curly hair too. Why doesn’t it look like that?” I didn’t have a huge selection of clothes and shoes. My adult years follow along the lines of "I wish my life was as adventurous and captivating as theirs." You assume someone's life is perfect simply through their side of the lens. What's more appealing.. A picture I take on the beach or a picture of a poster board listing ways to attract more readers? A hardship I’m going through or a picture of my night on the town? I asked myself "Why am I comparing my life to someone I don't know?" There is no such thing as a life better than your own. 


Our exes are included in this comparison marathon we participate in. An old friend venting to me turned into a compare and contrast between two girls he was seeing. On the left side we have young, reckless, free spirited, understanding and pleasurable. On the right we have history, stability, traditional and supportive. There's only one phrase in th middle.. Both crazy about him. “She’s a friend to me before anything else but she would disappear when the storm comes. The other wouldn't. ” I asked him why he thinks we compare our exes and his response was “It’s normal.” How we interact, looks, the sex, personalities, how situations are handled and the way they’ve made us feel all go into consideration. If everyone is different in a special way why do we compare them? I try my best to dodge comparing but it’s inevitable! I didn't appreciate the pleasure of someone feeding off my body language effortlessly until I laid with my new lover in the sheets. The best way I can describe it is dancing with two left feet.. Uncomfortable and awkward. In the middle of yelling at each other, I teleport months back to when I was with someone else.  Someone who would listen to me instead of talk over me. I missed being with someone that found pleasure in activities I enjoyed doing too. If you step back and analyze your previous relationships you might surprise yourself with what you realize. It’s easier to acknowledge what qualities you want your significant other to have. How can we expect better if we keep comparing to failed relationships? 


Who thought it’d be a good idea to compare to begin with? If only we could pick and chose the qualities we want people to have. Would you change anything about yourself? Friends? Family members? We’re in control of more than we think. What is out of our control will stay that way until we die. Imagine accepting people for who they are. Imagine living in a world free of comparisons!

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