You can’t take back what comes out

December 23, 2017

I vent the most productive way, without a filter. I envision the conversation and think about what I’m going to say. Who I can trust, who won’t judge, who won’t gossip. If I have to leave bits and pieces out of the story I’m venting to the wrong one.

Figuring out my suspicion was correct I hid in my dungeon. My mom came home and knew something was wrong before a hello left my lips. Long story short she tip toed around the I told you so bush in the nicest way possible. The next time we were all in the same room I felt the disappointment from my moms eyes. Where is the book that emphasizes on what to share with friends and family about your relationship? I never considered the side effects until it was too late. If I could go back in time of course I would pick and choose what I shared. I didn’t think about how it would change the way my family saw you. We’re all protective over people we love. It was foolish of me to assume you’d still be welcome with open arms. She only knows what I tell her. As quick as I am to spill out the negative why can’t I celebrate the positives? Our best friends and mothers can agree on one thing.. they want the best for us! If that means hurting our feelings with the truth so be it. Would I allow their opinion dictate the next move in my relationship? No.
To my readers feeling like I’m leaving you with no other option but to runaway with your lover.. don’t! I have taken advice and put it into action before. My favorite was building up the courage to tell an acquaintance exactly what I wanted. To not jump into a relationship but be hopeful for one in the future. Being denied wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be.. because I know in the future I’d be able to look back without regrets. Advice I ignore is what I don’t want to do. Majority of the time it’s from my mother.. “she’s no good for you” is a line I’m too familiar with. In the end, she’s right.

Who is the first person you call when you need to vent? A family member or friend is ideal. Everyone doesn’t have someone to confide in about their troubles or achievements. Writing doesn’t always ameliorate my feelings, sometimes I prefer human interaction. My mind sustains so many thoughts in seconds, minutes, hours. Where does it all go?! For me venting gets temporary complications out my system. Every venting session may not be important. I’ve witnessed a cursing spree over Wendy’s forgetting straws. I’ve overheard rumors commence after an intense vent. I’m excited, I phone a friend. I’m mad, I phone a friend. There’s no harm.. depending who you tell. 

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