The real you, no chaser.

January 26, 2018

We'll commence with the question that sparked my interest in beginning the journey beyond myself. "Who are you?" My conscious replied "Yanina.” The author describes a name written on piece of paper. My name is six letters. Is that who I am? No. The question is asked again this time I say "I am a woman. I am human. I am a sister, leader." Wrong again! Those are all labels. “I am the one who sees. From back in here somewhere, I look out, and I am aware of the events, thoughts, and emotions that pass before me.” As soon as I read this sentence I sent a text "YOU HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK" along with the saying in quotations. I've never experienced a feeling of uncertainty about my identity until that moment.

 

Have you ever opened your eyes in the morning and felt drained? After sleeping a full eight hours. Did I sleep too much? Too little? I've wondered whether it was because of dinner the night before. Or perhaps in the middle of the day after lunch. This crash makes us feel incapable of finishing or resuming the tasks of the day. "You have a wellspring of beautiful energy inside of you. That spiritual energy is what you’re experiencing when love rushes up into your heart. That is what you’re experiencing when you’re enthused by something and all this high energy comes up inside of you." For example, the first time I checked my visitors on this website. Whenever I'm feeling unmotivated I cling onto that feeling of joy. I was sitting at a desk how was I suddenly filled with an abundance of joy? The unlimited positive energy we crave is inside of us. We solely have to dig deep enough to find it. 

 

I was asked what do I think defines me as a person and my response was pasted experiences. Everything we've been through has made us who we are today right? "How can you define yourself as the things that happened to you? You were aware of your existence before they happened. You are the one who is in there doing all this, seeing all this, and experiencing all this. You do not have to cling to your experiences in the name of building yourself. This is a false self you are building inside. It is just a concept of yourself that you hide behind" This was a tough concept to wrap my mind around. Was I clinging onto previous struggles in order to justify who I am? I am not the events. I am who experienced them. If someone were to ask me today what I feel defines someone I would say their overall goal throughout life. Before death comes knocking on their door. Not what they want from the universe but what energies they are putting into the universe.

 

I've never given much thought into Death because it brings fear into my heart. I avoid death as the topic of conversation at all costs. The contemplating death chapter introduced death in a new perspective. A way in which it’s respected and unavoidable. Imagine if we had a countdown of our lives from the moment we're born. Would your life be the same as it is now? Or would you complete your bucket list within a matter of months? Death has a powerful way of teaching us. How to become aware, cherish friends and family, avoid complaining, forget about situations we can’t control. Death makes everyone equal, no one can live forever. "If you are living every experience fully, then death doesn’t take anything from you. That’s why the wise being is always ready to die. It doesn’t make any difference when death comes because their experience is already whole and complete. The wise realize that in the end, life belongs to death. Death is the one who comes in his own time to take life from you. Death is the landlord and you’re just the tenant."

 

I'm going to be honest with you I haven't been reading as much as I used to. Medium is my cheat code when it comes to reading every day. O f course there's a difference between reading a book that sticks to one topic versus short stories on several different topics. The horse drinks the water when it needs to. There isn't an exciting story about the way this book found it's way to me, just a simple recommendation. I felt a duty to share this book with people I want to see succeed and take a deep look inside themselves. Including sharing their opinion with me and reflecting on how we can keep these interesting theories in mind when the going gets tough. The tough still get going. The book is called "The Untethered Soul-The Journey Beyond Yourself" by Michael Singer.

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