Memories like wine, better with time.

February 20, 2018

I noticed one of my siblings becoming distant so in attempts to become closer I suggested playing outside. "It was like pulling teeth to get them out the room" is an understatement! I changed into shorts and a t shirt fueling myself with competitiveness. After perceiving I wasn't taking no for an answer we all huddled in the backyard. Have you ever tried playing kickball with four people? It wasn't until I was on second base and my teammate was on first base I realized it wasn't going to work. Cutting down to one base kickball sustained. My dogs new hobby is digging holes in the backyard. Once the ball was kicked in the air I didn't think of them. Hoping to catch it for their second out I fell into one running full speed. A broken ankle avoided but my knee is busted. Blood making its way down my legs covered in dirt the game must continue!  In the blink of an eye my team lost 14-15. I heard my knee whisper "you made a good effort." Every drop of sweat worthwhile. The stinging from my knee was irrelevant. Seeing the smile on your face and how present you were with us helped me remember what's important. The answer is family time. All we have is each other and that will never change. I wanted to play today but the flu is slowly but surely making it's way into my house. 


I've never been the person to bring up suicide or depression awareness but this week it's been heavy on my heart. Luckily, I have not lost any friends or family because of depression or suicide. However I'm not oblivious to the struggles people face every day. If I could I would erase the emotion completely. To anyone that feels they'll never be enough or disappointing constantly don't sell yourself short. You're here to create, inspire and fulfill dreams. Hang in there! I want to see you win, I want you to be happy. You are enough. I love you.  


When family comes into town it's habitual to accommodate to their needs. As the host it is your sole job to make your guests feel as welcome as possible. My room is normally the guest room, I'm not sure why I like to believe it's because I have such a good taste in decorating. Not too much, just enough to make you feel cozy. For the moment I'm camping out in my brothers room on the bottom bunk. At first I wasn't too happy, complaining at work until a coworker took me off my high horse. He shared a story about his distant grandfather. Expressing his regret in not bonding with him as much as he could've. Hearing his stories, lessons he could have learned. "From someone that doesn't have their grandparents be grateful you can spend time with yours." After hearing his regrets I felt foolish bickering about my grandma kicking me out my room for two weeks. The problem isn't that she takes up the whole bed, the problem is her snoring. I can't hear my dreams sleeping next to her. The elderly can be a handful but keep in mind they've been on this planet longer than us. We can learn a thing or two.


For a moment reflect on what we can take with us once we die. We can't take money, our family. We aren't even entitled to our own bodies. "We are the one who sees. Aware of the emotions and events surrounding us." Thank you again Michael Singer! We don't remember every conversation but we do remember the way someone has made us feel. Whether the emotion was good or bad, it sticks. Go out of your way to spread positivity and love. Memories are the only thing guaranteed we can take with us. Make new ones every day.




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