Dime con quien andas y te digo quien eres

June 18, 2018

"You are who you hang with" "You are what you eat" "If your friends jump off a bridge will you?" "What you eat don't make me shit" All phrases I've heard throughout my life. Sound familiar? Did I miss one? Did someone create these phrases for fun? For us to question ourselves about the decisions we make? Reflect on the ones you allow into your life with open arms. Whether you talk on a day to day basis or not. Dig deep and expose the true reasoning behind why they play an active role in your life. You may surprise yourself and that's okay!  We all know why. Maybe after hearing all their problems you feel relieved about your own. Or you can unapologetically be yourself around them, a treasure in itself. Create that list and don't be afraid to jot down the first thought that comes to your head. Most importantly give yourself time, there is no rush. You may think of something you forgot! No need for comparisons this list is strictly for your eyes only.


All friends gossip. There's events in life we have to call our girlfriends and talk about. For a second opinion, a good laugh, judging the list goes on and on. Unfortunately it's a part of life. It doesn't take long until you're crowned the gossip queen. That title doesn't only include your own.. the tea is never ending. I'm not the type of friend to dislike someone solely because another friend doesn't approve. Our friendship progressed as time went on along with "Why are you friends with her?" We were around each other a lot and hilarious as a duo. The issue I had with the gossip was it played a huge part in a friendship. It was difficult to separate it or cut it out completely. Overtime I distanced myself for the better. I'm not going to lie and say I never gossip because that would be unrealistic. What I can say is when I do there is a time and place. 


Have you ever been around someone that highlights every negative aspect there is? They don't even acknowledge the positives? If you haven't consider yourself a part of the chosen group. 

I understand there are situations where the negatives are so loud we cannot ignore them. I'm not encouraging to blind yourself from obstacles but what if we embraced them? Accepting throughout life there will be situations that frustrate us and don't go the way we want them to. No one likes to have negativity constantly as a topic of discussion. There's so much more to life!


The fun part of this exercise was glorifying why I keep the people I want around. After high school is when I took "You are who you hang with" seriously. The real world waits for no one and being around people that bring out the best in you can take you a long way. As cliché as it sounds you should spend time with people that inspire and motivate you. The type of people that tell you about their goals and make you confront yourself. "What do I have going on for myself? What are my goals?" I surround myself with dreamers. Your partners in love aren't the only ones that can share the same beliefs on what is important. You can extend those conversations with your friends as well. When it comes to religion, politics or simple traits like honesty and loyalty. Although Nothing is Permanent that type of connection is.


An easy way I separated my list was the energy I get from them. How do they make me feel? Is this feeling positive or negative? Is it consistent or whenever I caught them in a good mood? Do they affect my mood? Rub me the wrong way? Make me happy? Can I be myself around them? Am I watching what I say around this person? All these questions were taken into consideration analyzing why people are in my life. It's difficult to come face to face with the truth but it will undoubtedly set you free.


Also take into consideration what you do when you spend time with these people. I'm aware there's activities you can't do with everyone. For example going to the library with your friend that dislikes reading. Or talking about your goals and dreams with people who don't have any. That's the problem. Take note of what these people do in their free time. For example if they sold drugs there is a portion if not their entire day making sure they're ready for their next customer. Despite whether the consequences affect you or not you're still allowing it to be a part of your life. Sometimes the ones that are unmotivated get most of our time because they have nothing else to do. So whenever we're bored we reach out to them since we know they're available. Whether it's to drink the day away and you can't do that unless you start in the morning. 








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