It is 1:13 am on a Monday morning and it has been officially two months and five days since I updated a blog post. It's safe to say I was tossing and turning.. that's why I'm here now. It was difficult to become oblivious on the weeks piling into months knowing I wasn't writing or even making the efforts. There were nights I'd sit in front of my laptop staring at a blank page. Days I'd write and the fire would dim. Until my mom asked me why I haven't posted lately.. After some silence I replied "I don't have anything to write about." When I am doubting myself she always knows when to give me that extra push of confidence. After careful consideration from my management Me, Myself and I..Here we go!
Last year six days ago heaven gained an angel that I miss every day. August 1st was the day I went to the cemetery. The two and a half hour drive there I went back and forth with myself on if it is what I really wanted to do. If I wanted to be alone or wait and go with a friend for support. How I would feel driving back, what I would do when I got there. What was I going to say? Should I bring flowers? I pushed the gas pedal and turned the music up a little louder. The closer I got there the bigger the lump in my throat got. Surrounded by three graveyards I went to the office for help on finding her grave. My only wish was to actually see her and give her a hug. Once I got there the lump was gone and my words came out without thought. Losing Alexis has opened my eyes to valuing friends, cherishing life and loving someone in general. It taught me we will all remember how someone has made us feel. We have no idea of the impact we can have on someone's life. I feel lucky to have met such an amazing human being. Alexis you're spirit lives within me forever.
Why do unscheduled plans become the best?! I'm not much of a planner but I know there are people that can't do anything without some sort of agenda. Does this happen with them too?! My mom, cousin and myself wake up bright and early for Disney. I had no idea what my outfit was going to be but my Monsters University cap was mandatory. Visiting Toy Story Land was nothing short of a dream come true. I've loved Toy Story for as long as I can remember. Out of the three I can't decide which is my favorite.. don't bother asking. I don't want to ruin the scenery and ride for any readers that have not went. What I will say is welcome to Andy's room!
Memories last a lifetime.. so I made the purchase. Money and bills will come and go until the day we die. As the days come closer the excitement between me and my youngest brother was uncontrollable. We listened to Charlie Puth's album Voicenotes nonstop once it released in May 2018. By this time we sang the lyrics in our sleep. By five o'clock on August 31st we were on our way to Tampa ready to sing our hearts out. Within the first twenty minutes my brother fell asleep twice while I was painfully embracing the bumper to bumper ride on I4. The perk of waiting in the parking line was finding out it was free. Yes! What I love most about concerts is witnessing music bringing people together. It was my brothers first concert and I was more than happy to experience it with him. Out of the entire concert we didn't know two songs, I think we did a pretty damn good job!
If I've learned anything during this break it's to stop being so hard on myself! I believe we are our biggest critics because we want to see ourselves succeed so bad. At anything and everything we do. There is nothing wrong with going for a risk or challenge and failing. What matters is executing lessons learned from our mistakes. They are crucial for our growth! Life without mistakes wouldn't be thrilling. There is no "Going through life without difficulties for dummies" edition. Surround yourself with people that make solutions instead of complaining. Create a tunnel vision for overcoming the obstacles in the future.
The last order of business is to express how important it is to love what you do. How fulfilling it can be to know you are not only working towards having a satisfying career, but also enjoying the moments in between. Whether what you love doing is a job or a hobby, there are no rules. Nothing is permanent! What's new with you?