Stop trying

October 1, 2018

 

"You lose them the same way you get them" is my least favorite saying. Only because of how true the statement actually is. When you meet someone you're interested in we all ask what is their current situation as far as their love life. I never pay as much attention to it as I should only because I feel entitled to go after what I want. Dates, hours talking on the phone and creating memories with a temporary lover. Overtime it was impossible to keep my guard up considering I grew a love for this person. Before my eyes the cycle was restarting and I found myself making excuses for behavior.

 

Wiping the crust from my eyes the text message read "Honestly I’m sick & tired of being sick & tired is the only relationship status I’ll have." When is it okay to let our guards down with someone? Maybe you're thinking don't spend time with that person or talk as often. Once intentions are on the table do you decide from there? No one enjoys feelings of confusion or being lead on. Sometimes trust and confiding in them comes naturally and we don't feel the need to have the what are we conversation. Then what do we do? Should we always shield our hearts?

 

A million topics were discussed over the phone then along came dating. My response was “every time I try something goes wrong.” For a while I sensed I wasn't the best at keeping things casual.

A part of me believed monogamy was beginning to be on the same boat as chivalry. Until I reminded myself we cannot make things mesh that simply don't. Think of drinking dark and clear liquor, they don't mix well. You can drink both but there's complications and consequences. Throwing up, hangover, headaches etc. In your relationship it'd be pointless arguments, trust issues, wasted time and energy. When I think of things that are meant for me I have feelings of calmness and satisfaction. What do you think of?

 

The lesson I learned was it's crucial to give someone their space to grow after their previous relationship. Regardless of the conversations you've had about it in hopes of moving forward together. In reality we didn't experience it with them. Some love stories are short, some are extensive but that doesn't make them less filled with love. 

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